I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
