Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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