Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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