I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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