My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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