dude i'm inner monologue high
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
