hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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