This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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