in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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