Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
