How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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