is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
