Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
