dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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