So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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