isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
