I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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