STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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