I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It was confusing and full of hummus
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
