i just had sex bonerless
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
