So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
In America we eat man semen.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
