I wish I could punch you in the face.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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