god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
