He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
