Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
