You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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