Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i think my mom watched the whole time
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
this hospital has no fireball
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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