The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
