i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
