Pappa wants mamma naked
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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