Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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