Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
