Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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