I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
