Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i barfeds in our rink
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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