Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
