Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
