he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
