I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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