Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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