i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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