they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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