I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
