He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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