i think i have two assholes
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
