i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
