We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
