I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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