Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Vodka?
Forever.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
