I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize