I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
